


A Strange Adoration

by x_alexa_slytherin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M, Roommates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:47:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 12,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24963991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/x_alexa_slytherin/pseuds/x_alexa_slytherin
Summary: Harry goes back to Hogwarts, the memories of the war drowning him and making his life misery. The corridors are too crowded and the people are too loud. It's too similar to the battle.Draco didn't want to come back, and it's not like anyone wanted him to. But he didn't have a choice, between the trial and his mother moving to France, he had no other option.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> I've written a few fics before, but this is the first one I'm posting on here.  
> I hope you like it!  
> ~ Alexa 
> 
> (Say Hi on Instagram @drayxlexa )

Harry woke up and rolled over. He was not prepared for today. He loved Hogwarts and all his friends, but he could feel the memories suffocating him already. _Dumbledore falling over the balcony and crumpling to the floor. Sirius’s breath and soul leaving him as Harry desperately struggled against the dementors. Sirius falling through the veil. Riddle’s face in the chamber. Cedric’s still eyes. Pettigrew slicing down his arm. Remus’s slack face lying in the great hall, chest unmoving. Ron crying. Hermione crying. Fred dying. Snape dying. Going to the forest. Dying._ He shook himself before the tears spilt down his face. After changing, he cast his usual glamours and apparated to the Burrow where he was meant to be meeting Hermione and Ron.

“Hi, you look good.” Harry turned to see Ginny. Harry smiled weakly, “Not looking too bad yourself.” Ginny laughed. Harry chuckled, it was still awkward between them, at least for him. He didn’t know how she acted so casually around him. They just broke up. _Well… a month ago but still._ “How was your summer?” Harry asked weakly. Ginny shuddered slightly, “It was okay. Luna and I spent a lot of time together which was fun. It’s all just so strange.” Harry nodded numbly, “So how’s Luna?” Ginny smiled, “She’s very good. Especially at kissing.” Harry laughed, _so that’s how she’s acting so casually._ “So this is how you tell me you're dating Luna?” Ginny nodded, “But don’t tell Ron. I don’t want him to scare her off.” Harry laughed, “I doubt much can. Perhaps nargles.” Ginny laughed and waved over his shoulder.

Hermione ran over and hugged Harry, “Harry, you look well! I’m so glad. I was worried when Kreacher told me you weren’t eating. But I suppose I was overthinking and stressing too much.” Ron came up behind her and kissed her forehead, “You do have a tendency to do that darling. Hey mate, how was your summer?” Harry smiled, “Good, I spent most of it clearing out Grimmauld place.” Hermione nodded, “We should head inside, how is everyone?” Ginny’s face flashed with worry but it was soon covered over with a pasted on grin. “We’re coping. As best as we can.” Ron nodded and hugged her, “How’s George?” he whispered into her hair. “He dyed his hair, because he kept thinking it was Fred in the mirror.” her voice broke on his name and Ron felt his shirt dampen a little. He squeezed her shoulder tighter before pulling back and walking towards the house. Hermione glanced over at Ginny and smiled, putting an arm around her shoulder. “How’s Luna?” She singsang. “Fine.” Ginny said, elbowing Hermione. Harry stifled a smile as Ron glanced over to them. “Don’t elbow me because I’m asking about your girlfriend!” Hermione said laughing at Ginny’s red face. “Your what!?” Ron said, his voice raising. “Hermione!” Ginny hissed. “Ginevra Weasley!” Ron walked up to her and Hermione stepped back still laughing. “Why wouldn’t you tell me? I’m so proud of you. Have you told mum and dad yet? Did you really think I didn’t know you were gay? Wow you really are an idiot.” Ginny spluttered before hugging him. “No I haven’t told anyone. How did you know?” Ron laughed, “You’re my sister Ginny. And I’m not a complete idiot.” Harry snorted and received a glare from Hermione. “You’re okay with this?” Ginny asked, smiling broadly. “Of course I am, I love you no matter what!” Ginny grinned and hugged him again.

They all started walking towards the house when Hermione nudged Harry. “And Ron and I are fine with you being gay too.” She muttered. Harry gaped at her, “Why do you think I’m gay?” Hermione laughed, “I literally saw you snogging some muggle guy a few days ago, you’re at least bi.” Harry smiled, his cheeks crimson, “Gay. And you’re okay with it?” Hermione nodded, “Of course I am. Ronald doesn’t actually know but I’m sure he’ll be fine with it. And if he’s not he will be.” Harry laughed and put his arm around Hermione, “Don’t threaten my soon-to-be-brother-in-law.” Hermione laughed and rolled her eyes, “Okay Lil’ bro.” Harry flashed her a smile before running to catch up with the other.

\-----

Draco woke up and sighed. He didn’t even know why he was going back. None of his friends were. No one was. He was only going because he had nowhere else to go. His father was in Azkaban and his mother was staying with relatives in France. He rolled over and gracefully got out of bed, pulling on his robes and walking down the empty corridors to the kitchen. The manor had never felt welcoming but it was always home. But not anymore. In every brick and shadow lurked the memories.  _ The nights of hiding away. The dark lord’s laugh. His father. Potter. Potter and his friends leaving him. Potter in the dungeon. Granger. Weasel. Bellatrix. His mother. Her crying at night. The battle. Harry being dead. Voldemort hugging him.  _ He looked down at the faded mark on his wrist and heard a sob escape. He took a deep breath and carried on walking. Walking through the empty manor. Without his mother. Without his father. Without anyone. Just the suffocating memories. 

He shook his head and aparated straight to Kings Cross Station. He shuddered and walked towards the wall, ready to walk through and start what would probably be a very long year. He glanced over and saw the golden trio. Bracing himself, he walked over. The first thing he noticed was the glimmer of a glamour surrounding Potter.  _ What did he have to hide?  _ Granger looked up and her eyes hardened, her posture straightening. The Weasel looked over and stepped in front of her protectively, his eyes boring into him. Draco gulped, ready to turn around when he saw Potter’s eyes, surprisingly soft with little hatred or even suspicion there. He straightened his back and walked over. “I just wanted to thank you all and apologise for all the shitty stuff I said and did.I’m sorry.” Granger’s mouth fell open before she nodded. Potter smiled weakly and nodded, nudging the Weasel who softened his glare slightly. “The war’s over now. We all did what we had to do.” Potter said causing Draco to stare at him in shock. “But- I was a death eater. Don’t you hate me?” 

The Weasel almost nodded but Granger stood on his foot slightly. “No. Draco you were forced into that.” Hermione said, her voice still guarded. Draco smiled, “Well I just wanted to thank you. So thank you.” Harry shook his head slightly, “Don’t sweat it, Malfoy.” Draco nodded, “Thanks Potter, Hermione, Weasel-y.” Hermione nodded and smiled slightly, turning and walking off, Weasel-y followed her. Potter smiled weakly and walked off. Draco watched them go, a weight already lifted off his chest.  _ Maybe this year wouldn’t be too bad. _

Draco sat alone in one of the compartments, dreading whoever would walk in and sit with him. As more and more people filled in, ignoring him or sneering at him with disdain, he was filled with a hope that maybe he’d be left alone. Although the company he got wasn’t too bad. 


	2. Chapter Two

Harry followed Hermione and Ron onto the train, mentally scolding himself for being too late to get on. All the carriages were full. Hermione kept turning and glaring at them muttering about how she’d have to sit with first years who idolised them and that she couldn’t deal with that right now. She sighed, they were in the last carriage and there was only one booth which wasn’t full. “Hey, can we sit in here? Everywhere else is full?” She asked the slouched figure in the corner. 

Malfoy straightened his back and nodded stiffly. Harry smiled at him graciously and sat down next to him, allowing the couple to sit next to each other. The journey was, in Harry’s opinion, very awkward. Malfoy sat there in silence, staring out of the window and occasionally glancing at his wrist, his face twisting slightly, not that Harry was watching him. Hermione and Ron were sleeping, and Harry was glad they at least could still sleep. “So... “ Harry said into the silence. Malfoy looked up. “I never got a chance to thank you for my trial.” Malfoy said quietly. Harry nodded, he hadn’t told anyone about that. “I didn't get a chance to thank you for not telling her. Bellatrix I mean. ” Malfoy nodded, “I never wanted it. Any of it.” He admitted. Harry nodded, “Neither did I.” Malfoy looked at him puzzled, but he could tell the conversation was over. 

Harry walked into the eighth year common room and saw a rooming list on the wall. Ronald Weasley and Neville Longbottom, Hermione Granger and Cho Chang,  _ Hermione will love that.  _ Harry thought before searching the list for his name. He glanced at it and almost panicked when he couldn’t find it. Finally he saw it. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. Harry closed his eyes and banged his head against the wall briefly before sluggishly walking up the stairs.  _ Malfoy? Really? What was McGonogall thinking!? _ Harry groaned, pushing the door open and placing his bags onto the bed furthest away from the window. 

\----

Draco walked into the eighth room common room and checked the list to find his name. He almost collapsed in panic when he couldn’t find it.  _ I can’t go back. I can’t…  _ Then he saw it. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. Draco sighed and walked up the stairs.  _ At least he won’t hex him in his sleep which none of the others can promise.  _ He pushed the door open and saw drapes already closed. He shrugged and walked into the bathroom to change before opening a book and sitting in the other bed. He heard the other drapes open and peered over. “Oh hi, when did you come in?” Potter asked, rubbing his eyes. He looked  _ awful.  _ Like he hadn’t slept for months. And hadn’t seen food in weeks.  _ So this is what the glamorous were for…  _

"About an hour ago. Are you okay?" He asked, unable to help himself. Potter looked confused before he realised that his glamourd were down. "Shit." He said grabbing his wand and casting hasty glamours he clearly hadn't studied enough. "Potter you look awful. You need to eat or-" Potter shook his head, "Don't tell me what to do Malfoy." Draco shook his head, "Harry when did you last eat?" He asked, worry and curiosity mingling in his voice. Harry shrugged. "Well if you don't know, then it was too long ago." Draco said, grabbing his wand and hovering a plate of food in front of Potter. Potter looked at the plate and shook his head. "I'm not hungry. Thanks though." Draco sighed defeated and turned back to his book.

\----

Harry stared at Malfoy before turning back to his bed and drawing the curtains.  _ Why does he even care?  _ He thought as he cast multiple silencing charms and lay down for what he knew would be a few pitiful hours of sleep. 

_ "What's wrong Harry?" Hermione asked. Harry shuddered. "He knows. He knows that we’re hunting horcruxes." Hermione shook her head. "You let him in?! Harry you can't do that." _

_ "I can't always hel-" Harry spluttered and fell to the floor clawing at his chest. The world swam in front of him as Hermione and Ron collapsed their eyes dull, chests still.  _

Harry shot up in bed screaming. He cast a tempus shaking. 3:04 am. That meant he had some hours to kill. He opened his curtains slowly and stood up, not registering that Malfoy's bed was empty. 

\----

Draco walked out of the bathroom and saw Potter, his ribcage almost visible through his shirt. "Potter?" He asked quietly. Potter jumped up, "Oh it's just you." Draco pondered this before stepping forwards. "Who else would it be?" Potter shook his head, "I don't know. Why are you up?"

Draco paused before stepping towards Potter. "Toilet. Why were you up?" He asked cautiously. Potter shook his head. "Nothing. Night." 

Draco woke up and rolled over to see an empty bed.  _ Did Harry even go back to sleep?  _ He stood up and walked into the bathroom to change into his robes. Once he was dressed, he walked down into the common room and was greeted with glares. He straightened his back and sat down, shrinking away from everyone.  _ Why did I even come back? Everyone hates me. This is why none of the Slytherins came back.  _ He looked to his left to see a group of Hufflepuffs glaring at him and muttering, then to his right, a group of Ravenclaws and Gryffindors. He shrunk back in the chair, trying to think of something to do. 

Two weeks later and it was no better, if anything, it was worse. Draco still had no friends and hardly ever had a conversation. The only time anyone would speak to him was when Potter was merely being polite in the dorm or when someone was forced to by a teacher. Or, when they were unloading all their anger on him. 

“Why did you even come back?” Someone spat. Draco looked up and saw a group of pissed off eighth years standing above him. He sighed, willing himself not to panic. One of the people stepped forwards, “You should’ve stayed at home, death eater scum.” Draco stood up, he had told himself he wasn’t going to fight anyone. After all, he  _ was  _ a deatheater. “Leave him alone.” A voice cut through the voices threatening him. Draco looked up into green eyes. “Why do you even care? He helped you know who.” Someone else spat, shoving Draco’s shoulder. 

\----

Harry stepped forwards, “I said leave him alone. The war is over.” He glanced behind himself at Ron and Hermione, both with their wands not-so-casually out. The group of people surrounding Malfoy dispersed and he flopped back onto the sofa. “Thanks Potter, but I could handle it.” He muttered looking up, a slight blush on his pale cheeks. “It’s fine. People need to get it in their thick heads that the war is over. And that the guilty are locked up.” Malfoy flinched at this. “Sorry. I didn’t think-” Harry said hurriedly remembering Lucius’s sentence. Malfoy stood up shaking his head slightly, he turned to Hermione and Ron, “Thanks.” before fleeing to the library. 

Harry grimaced and sunk into the sofa. “I’m an idiot.” Ron sat down next to him, “Relax, it’s just Malfoy. We all know he’s a dramatic prat.” Harry shook his head slightly, remembering Malfoy’s concern that night and any time he forgot his glamours. “He’s not that bad.” Hermione stifled a laugh and threw an arm around him, “Well whatever he is, no one deserves that.” Harry nodded, “So why don’t people understand that?” Ron shrugged, “They need someone to blame.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hope you're enjoying it so far, Kudos and comments always appreciated!  
> <3


	3. Chapter Three

Draco ran into the library, hiding in the corner.  _ I shouldn’t have come back. How can I do this? Every single day. Potter is going to get all tied up in some Saviour thing. He’s not going to care about me. And I doubt anyone else will stick up for me. Maybe Gran- Hermione but definitely not Weasley. He only did because he follows Potter.  _ Draco stood up and shook himself, picking a random book off the shelf and hiding behind it, letting the tears fall. 

\----

Harry walked down the corridor practically fleeing from the fans he'd picked up on the way to the great hall. Hermione and Ron had lost him somewhere in the corridor but he’d find them later. Right now, he needed to escape these stupid fangilrs. He ducked into an alcove watching them stream past before running to the library. He walked through to a corner which was usually empty. He paused at the sound of sobbing. He cautiously stepped forwards and around the bookshelf that concealed …  _ Malfoy?! _

Malfoy looked up, pasting a sneer to his tear streaked face. “Stalking me again Potter?” Harry smiled slightly, “You wish.” Malfoy smiled weakly, making Harry almost more worried. “What’s wrong?” He asked, worry knitting his eyebrows together. Malfoy raised an eyebrow at him, “I never asked for any of this.” Harry sat down next to Malfoy, “None of us did. I just don’t understand why you didn’t defend yourself.” Malfoy laughed spitefully, “And prove them right?” Harry shook his head, “What prove that you’re human? Draco, there’s nothing wrong with defending yourself.” 

\---

Draco shook his head slightly.  _ Did Potter just call me Draco?  _ “Maybe not for you. You can’t do anything wrong. You’re the fucking  _ saviour _ .” Potter glared at him, “Don’t call me that.” Draco laughed slightly less bitterly, “Sorry, the Chosen One.” Potter hit his shoulder lightly, “Seriously, just call me Harry. I have enough fangirls as it is.” Draco raised a delicate eyebrow at him, “And what? The saviour, the hero who conquered the Dark Lord can’t handle that?” Po-Harry shook his head, “It’s exhausting. I don’t have enough energy for this.” Draco smirked, “Well maybe if you slept more, you would have.” 

Harry glared at him. “Maybe if you defend yourself I’d have more energy.” He retorted. Draco shrugged, “Just let me suffer next time.” Harry shook his head, “No. That’s not fair on you. I just wanted a quiet year for once.” Draco nodded, glancing over at Harry who had his eyes shut, a frown covering half his face. “Same.” Draco muttered. 

\----

Harry opened his eyes and looked at Mal-Draco, whose eyes were still shining from crying.  _ Wow. His eyes aren’t grey, there’s a rim of blue.  _ Draco cast a tempus in front of them, “We’re going to miss Potions.” Harry groaned, “Do we have to go?” Draco nodded standing up, “Come on Po-Harry.” Harry grinned, “Ugh. Fine.” and stood up, cursing himself as he stumbled forwards. Draco laughed, steadying his arm, “Who would’ve thought the saviour would be so clumsy?” Harry glared at him, “Thanks. And I’m not clumsy, I just didn’t spend eleven years of my life having acrobatic training.” Draco laughed, “You're right, the purebloods are starting a circus. Maybe you could come, we’d get so many more customers.” Harry chuckled, “Okay, but only if you’re wearing a clown costume.” Draco looked at him appalled, “As if! I would be the fashionable ringleader.” Harry laughed, “You’d be the dramatic tightropist actually.” 

That night, Harry went to sleep, grinning to himself. He and Draco were finally getting along and it made him feel complete. Like he could make it through the year after all. As he drifted off to sleep, Daco’s face swirled in his mind. 

_ “Hey Potter,”Malfoy called, his hair shining in the dappled sunlight. “My father and I have a bet you se-” _

_ “Shut it Malfoy. I don’t care.” He spat, staring as the slytherin elegantly hopped down from the tree. Harry smiled against his own will and forced his face back into a neutral expression.  _

_ “You don’t want to know our bet, Harry?” He drawled the words, making Harry’s heart flutter.  _

_ Harry shook his head, “I don’t give a shit about your father, he’s arrogant and selfish and you’re just pat-perfect.”  _

_ Malfot smirked, “Perfect?”  _

_ Harry nodded, shoving him up against the rough bark or the tree and pressing his lips against Malfoys. The blonde squirmed and then stilled, his arms tangling around Harry’s neck. _

Harry shot up in bed, panting heavily with arousal and panic. Glancing over to Draco’s bed, he hurried across to Ron and Neville’s dorm. Barging the door open and shaking Ron awake. “Harry! What the hell are you doing?” Ron groaned, sitting up. “I LIKE DRACO.” Harry whined. Ron’s pupils dilated, so they were almost drowning out the blue. Harry tugged him out of his bed and they raced to the bottom of the Girl’s dorm staircase. “HERMIONE!” Ron shouted, his voice full of concern for Harry.  _ Does he think Draco’s drugged me?  _

Hermione ran down the stairs, rubbing her eyes, her wand out. “What? What is it?” Harry smiled apologetically. “You’re really scaring me. What’s happened?” Hermione said again. 

“I like Draco!” “He likes the ferret!” Hermione chuckled, “You boys really are oblivious.” Harry winced slightly,  _ was it that obvious?  _ Ron just stared at her, shock still controlling his features. “Next time wake me up for something  _ important. _ ” And with that, she flounced back up the stairs, chuckling at Harry and Ron’s appalled faces. 

“What am I going to do?” Harry sighed. Ron shrugged, patting his back. “ _ Not  _ obsess over him,  _ again. _ ” 


	4. Chapter Four

A few days later, Draco glanced up as Hermione walked into Potions and sat down next to Ron, smiling up at him and muttering, their heads bent together. He saw Harry walk in and head straight over to him.  _ What’s he doing?  _ “Can I sit here? I’d rather not sit with  _ that. _ ” Harry said, adoration clear on his face as he looked over at the couple. Draco nodded. “Yeah, thought about the circus?” Harry laughed, a sound Draco wanted to hear more. “Not yet, why? Got your outfit yet?” Draco shook his head, a grin, a real one, spreading across his face, “Oh not yet, but I’ve designed it. It will be fabulous just like me.” Harry laughed again, making Draco’s heart flutter.  _ Wait. No. Nope. No way.  _ “Well of course.” 

Draco nodded laughing slightly as the professor walked in.  _ There is no way I couldn’t possibly li- Is Harry looking at me? Has he always looked so cute when he’s focused? Does he always bite his lower lip? Not that I’m looking at his lips…  _ “Is this right?” Harry asked, showing Draco his parchment and snapping him back into reality. “Uh- yeah. Except you need two lizard’s eyes, not three.” Harry nodded, “Thanks, are you okay? You seem distracted?” Draco shook his head, “Just wondering where to go at lunch.” 

“Just come and sit with me and the couple.” Harry said, gesturing to Hermione and Ron who were sharing notes and kisses. “You’re inviting me to eat with you?” Draco said incredulously. “Yeah, we’re friends, aren’t we?” Draco smiled, “We need to stop answering questions with more questions.” Harry smiled and dipped his quill into the ink, “That a yes?” Draco nodded, moving Harry’s arm before he spilt ink all over his parchment. Draco laughed as a blush rose up Harry’s face.

\----

“Okay maybe I’m clumsy.” Harry said  _ and I totally wasn’t thinking about you being more than my friend. Nope that’s ridiculous.  _ Draco nodded, taking away his arm, blushing slightly as well. “Yeah I’d like to sit with you guys. Save you from their snogging session.” Harry laughed, “Session? It never stops.” Draco laughed, packing away his stuff and making a mental note to finish his work later as the professor dismissed them. 

The rest of the lessons were a blur to Harry before lunch. Not that he was excited to spend it was Draco. No, not at all. Harry almost ran into the great hall. He sat down next to Hermione and Ron and grinned, “Draco is sitting with us today. Play nice.” He warned just before Draco inched his way over, looking nervous. 

\-----

Draco sat down, scolding himself for how nervous he was.  _ Relax it’s not like you’re meeting his parents. Wait. Bad comparison. Just relax Draco. Stop being so pathetic.  _ He thought in a voice that sounded disturbingly like Voldemort. “So, how’s living with that annoying git?” Ron asked once Draco sat down. Draco tensed already regretting coming. “He means me.” Harry said reassuringly. Ron nodded but Draco suspected it had something to do with the kick he had received from Hermione. “He’s not too bad.” Draco said, cursing himself for the shakiness in his voice.  _ Why am I so nervous? Why do I care what they think?  _ Harry smiled, “Aw thanks, that’s the nicest thing you’ve said today.”  _ Right, he’s why. Wait. No. I do not like Potter. No. I refuse to believe it.  _ Draco smiled, “Doubtful, I’m a fabulous person.” Harry laughed and Draco felt his heart flutter,  _ Right maybe just a little crush… shit.  _

“Well obviously.” Harry laughed. “You look like you swallowed a bug.” Ron observed, making Draco blush.  _ Shut it Weasel.  _ “Must be your presence.” He sneered, or tried to at least, his voice softened as soon as he saw Harry’s disappointment. Hermione glanced between them, smiling. “So, Draco, how was your summer?” She asked politely. Draco shuddered but relaxed slightly at the glare Harry shot her. “Oh sorry. Fudgesticks, I’m sorry Draco.” She said, her cheeks turning crimson.  _ Fudgesticks? She swears all the time.  _ “Fudgesticks?” Ron said, trying not to laugh, “Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend.” 

Draco smiled at the fact that he had noticed it too.  _ Wait. Why? Stop noticing things about them! You’re watching Potter too much!!!  _ “I became more polite.” Hermione said awkwardly. Harry spluttered, juice trickling down his chin. “Yeah right.” Ron said laughing almost as much as Harry. Draco chuckled slightly at her indignant face. “I’ve always been polite!” She said, her eyebrows melded together in frustration. Draco shook his head, “Oh yeah, thanks for the bitchslap.” Hermione’s eyes widened slightly and she looked down at her food, muttering beneath her breath. 

\----

As he finished his food, Harry smiled and looked over at Draco. “You okay?” He asked quietly at the look of slight panic on Draco's face. Draco nodded, “Yeah of course.” He said matching Harry’s volume. “Too much social contact?” Harry asked, smiling a knowing smile. “Yeah, you?” Harry nodded, “I love them but frankly one meal a week is almost too tiring.” Draco laughed and stood up, “Dorm?” Harry nodded waving to Hermione and Ron who didn’t even stop kissing to acknowledge their absence. 


	5. Chapter Five

Draco flopped -gracefully flopped - onto his bed absolutely exhausted.  _ But at least he’d seen Harry eat. Even if it was very little, it was something.  _ Harry walked in behind and grinned, “Have fun?” Draco nodded, surprising himself. “Yeah I did. At least I know you’re not starving yourself.” Harry flinched slightly, “Yeah.” Draco felt the worry that had been building up in his chest grow, “Harry what’s wrong?” He asked softly. Harry shook his head and sat on his bed, “You wouldn’t understand.” Draco sighed and sat down next to him, keeping his distance, “Try me.” Harry shook his head and tried to paste a smile onto his face but Draco could see through it and he wasn’t going to let it go. “Harry James Potter tell me what’s wrong.”

Draco sighed as Harry shook his head again. “What don’t you think I’ll understand? You don’t think I’ll understand that you went through shit and that everyone fantasises your life and makes it seemingly perfect? You don’t think I get that?!” Harry's head shot up at that and his eyes locked onto Draco’s. “No. I don’t think you’ll understand that I don’t want this life at all.” He said before standing up and leaving the dorm room, causing Draco to practically hyperventilate.  _ Harry’s smart. Sort of… But he wouldn’t just end his life. Would he?  _

\----   
  


Harry walked through the empty common room glancing outside to see the moon hovering above him. He sighed and carried on walking, not knowing where to go and not caring. He just walked and walked until he felt calm again.  _ Why does Draco put me on edge? Why is he able to get me to confess to so much?  _ Harry glanced around and the panic instantly set in. He stepped forwards to run down the staircase but it switched leaving Harry utterly alone with the memories choking him. 

All he could hear were the screams, everyone’s screams of pain and torment, the gleeful yells of the deatheaters spiraling in his head until he was sure he was insane. Rocking back and forth, he sobbed into his hands, falling to his knees, hardly able to breathe. Suffocated by panic. 

\----

Draco sighed and paced the room again. Harry had been gone for almost two hours. Desperate, he grabbed Harry’s trunk and started rummaging through it, desperately searching for that invisibility cloak he  _ knew  _ Harry had. Instead he felt rough parchment under his fingers and pulled out what seemed to be a blank piece of old parchment. It was aged and folded with years of use. Draco cast multiple revealing charms on it, curiosity getting the better of him.  **_Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs would like to ask Mr Malfoy to stop snooping._ ** Draco stared at the parchment.  _ Padfoot… Harry mutters that in his sleep. Padfoot… Sirius!  _ “Sirius please, I don’t know where he is.” 

The parchment was blank for what felt like an age before more words were scrowled onto the dusty material.  **_Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs would like to ask if you’re up to no good? Do you solemnly swear on it?_ ** Draco stared at the parchment, his worry and frustration clouding his mind.  _ Think Draco. Think.  _ Draco banged his head on the foot of the bed, _ this was Sirius. And probably his friends. How they bewitched this he had no idea. It was actually quite impresi- not now Draco!  _ “I do, I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good.” The parchment swirled with ink as it unfurled in his hands which were certainly not shaking. Draco stared at the  _ map  _ before him, searching desperately for Harry’s name.  _ So this is how he always found me. _ He thought before seeing his name.  _ What the hell is he doing there?  _

  
  


**\----**

Harry could hear footsteps approaching and his mind instantly went into panic overdrive. He grabbed his wand, holding it out in front of him, not that he really needed it but having his wand felt familiar. Felt more normal, more mundane than wordless, wandless spells. He raised it, muttering  _ lumos  _ under his breath and lighting the hallway, ready to see his attacker. But he couldn’t  _ see  _ anything. All he could hear was the slightly uneven footsteps advancing towards him. 

He put his head into his hands, desperate for some form of escape, any way to  _ get out _ . “Harry?” the voice was low but Harry would recognise it anywhere. He raised his head slowly, and Draco suddenly appeared before him, crouching down next to him. Harry’s mind almost ignored the fact that Draco was not only using his cloak but had found the map.  _ And got it to open?!  _ Draco sat down next to him on the cold stairs and put an arm out, an arm which Harry gratefully snuggled into. “It’s okay.” Draco said softly. Harry shook his head, “It’s never okay.” he croaked, the memories and screams still swirling in his mind. Draco wrapped his arm tighter around the trembling boy, relaxing slightly when he didn’t protest. Neither of them said anything else, they just sat there until the sun rose. 

\----

Draco felt the sun streaming across his face and glanced down at Harry, who was sleeping in his arms.  _ He didn’t wake up…  _ Draco thought, too distracted by the realisation to notice that Harry was staring straight back at him, his emerald eyes unblinking. Draco blushed and stood up briskly, allowing Harry to do the same before walking off down the corridor. He heard footsteps behind him but when he turned they were retreating the other way. 

Draco made his way into the great hall and automatically walked to the end of the table, where he would sit alone. But before he could, he heard a voice, “Draco!” He glanced over to see Hermione smiling at him and ushering him over. He grinned and walked over, much to the weasel’s dismay.  _ Weasley - no Ron. If I’m friends with Harry then he is Ron.  _ “Hey, where’s Harry?” he asked, receiving concerned glances from the couple.

  
“Didn’t you see him this morning?” Draco panicked slightly,  _ they couldn’t know about any of it. About Harry’s panic attacks, the glamours. Any of it. Harry had made that clear.  _ “He wakes up before me.” He said, trufully. Hermione spluttered slightly, trying not to laugh, “Harry!? Harry wakes up before you?” Ron laughed as well, “Maybe quidditch practice messed him up.” Draco laughed,  _ Were they his friends now?  _ He’s never felt so happy at Hogwarts before than laughing with people who could be and were hopefully his friends. 


	6. Chapter Six

Harry walked into the great hall  _ slightly _ flustered still. He walked over to where Ron and Hermione were sitting with…  _ Draco?  _ Harry’s footsteps faltered slightly but as eyes drew towards him he walked over, happy to hear them all laughing. He slid into the bench next to Draco and was greeted with smiles from everyone. He grinned, “What’s so funny?” Hermione laughed, “Oh nothing. Draco just told us something truly hilarious.” Ron nodded, chuckling almost as much as Hermione. Harry risked a glance at Draco to see him staring straight back at him. He felt a flush rising up his neck and turned back to Hermione’s bright eyes. 

Harry laughed slightly, picking up a piece and bread and taking a small bit before silently making it vanish when Hermione and Ron weren’t looking. He hardly ever ate more than a bite of food, it just made him sick to his stomach and he already had enough going on.  _ The acting was hard enough. And they never caught him so what was the issue? Everyone was happy. _ Harry picked up a piece of bacon as they looked over and caught Draco’s eyes who shook his head slightly, worry pooling in the light blue-grey of his eyes.  _ Shit.  _ Harry thought; he had forgotten Draco was there. Draco raised an eyebrow at him and passed him a piece of bread. Harry reluctantly took it, taking all of three bites before vanishing it. 

\----

Draco sighed and resolved to eat with them every meal to ensure that git ate his food. He glanced over at Harry to see little beads of sweat trickling down his forehead.  _ “Sometimes I can hardly make it through a meal. It’s just too much for me.”  _ Draco remembered those muttered words and quickly vanished his plate. “I’m going up to our dorm. Harry are you coming?” Harry looked up at him graciously, “Yeah, I have to finish my transfiguration essay. See you guys later?” Hermione looked up and smiled, nodding to Draco, seemingly knowing more than she was meant to.  _ Well, it is Granger. I shouldn’t be surprised.  _ “Okay, see you later mate.” Ron said, probably following Hermione’s lead. 

They walked up the stairs to their dorm in silence. Draco opened the door and Harry walked straight to the desk pushed up against the wall. “Thanks.” He said before turning back to the wall. “Don’t worry about it. So, I wanted to apologise for last night.” Harry’s back straightened as Draco said the words, “Uh huh..?” Draco paused unsure  _ what _ exactly he wanted to talk about. “I- Uh… how did you get the map?” Harry turned back to Draco, he hadn’t been expecting  _ that.  _

“Oh, third year. George and F-f” his voice drowned out and he turned back to the wall, wiping at his face viciously. “Fred.” He choked out. Draco walked over him with as few strides as humanly possible and put an arm around his shoulders. Harry whimpered slightly, leaning into the other’s boy embrace. “I found out later that it was made by my dad and Si-” Draco nodded, “Sirius?” Harry nodded, tears freely falling, “And Professor Lupi- Remus.” He managed before Draco pulled him in tighter. “Oh Harry…” he said, his voice saying it all. Harry snuggled into him, his head resting on Draco’s shoulder. 

“Sorry I’m such a mess. You shouldn’t have to deal with this.” Draco rolled his eyes, “Ever the self sacrificing git. Harry I don’t care.” Harry blinked until he could see again and pulled away slightly, “I just- I hate feeling so weak and lying to them.” Draco nodded slowly, looking into the emerald eyes which were sparkling from the years of crying yet still managing to laugh. Which were never self pitying but only self loathing. He didn’t know what to say.  _ I just wish you understood how fucking loved you were. I wish you accepted that it’s okay to be in pain.  _ “Then talk to them.” Harry’s eyes widened and he shook his head adamantly. “They love you so much Harry. They won’t care. They’ll want to help.” Draco said, trying not to let the exasperation leak into his voice.

Harry shook his head again. “No.” He croaked out. Draco rolled his eyes and walked over to the bed, carrying Harry’s weight, which was hardly anything.  _ Probably considering he hasn’t eaten since last year.  _ “Then tell me. You don’t care what I think, so tell me.” He said, the words sounding bitter even to him. Harry shook his head, “ I care what you think, Draco. I’m sorry I shouldn’t burden you with my shit.” Draco shook his head, reaching for Harry’s arm as he went to stand.

\----

“I’m sorry, I’m just worried about you. Please tell me, I want to help.” Harry paused, not quite sitting and not quite standing, whilst he considered this. But all he could focus on was Draco’s hand wrapped around his arm. His long slender fingers so delicate against his skin. Harry slowly moved his gaze away, “You have to let me help you too, then.” Draco nodded slowly, pulling on Harry’s arm until he sat down again. Harry looked at Draco’s expectact eyes and sighed, looking away, tears already in his eyes. “I just can’t do it anymore. I hate it. I never wanted to be remembered for being the ‘saviour’. I never fucking wanted any of this. I just keep thinking that I shouldn’t have come back.” 

Harry heard Draco’s sharp intake of breath and had to pause to stop himself from fleeing  _ again.  _ “I- when I di- when Vold- when he killed me, I was given the choice. I could’ve stayed there. But I came back. And sometimes I think I should have just stayed. Stayed with everyone I lost.” Harry felt Draco’s hand turning him to face the soft grey eyes, filling with worry. “Harry- The whole wizarding world is glad you came back. The Weasleys, Ron, Hermione, they wouldn’t have it any other way. And I - I am happier than you could ever believe that you came back.” Harry smiled, “You’re happy I came back?” Draco nodded, “Of course I am. Now actually try to sleep.” Harry smiled and walked into the bathroom, grabbing his pyjamas on the way.

\----

Draco watched Harry walk into the bathroom, sighing slightly. He grabbed his loose grey joggers and pulled them on, finding a silk top to match and pulling it on just before Harry walked out of the bathroom. “Goodnight.” He muttered, drawing his curtains partially and rolling to face Draco’s bed. Draco lay down and faced him, “Goodnight Harry.” He murmured, closing the drapes as Harry did the same. 


	7. Chapter Seven

Draco woke up to the loud screech from across the room. He shot up, grabbing his wand and opening the drapes, racing over to Harry’s bed. He tentatively opened them, gazing at the trembling boy before him. “Harry.” he whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder. Harry jerked away, his face twisting to scream again. Draco quickly cast a silencing charm around the two of them and shook Harry’s shoulder gently. “Harry, it’s me. Harry!” Harry’s eyes flew open, wide with panic. His eyes found Draco’s and he slowly relaxed. “Shit, I’m sorry Draco. I forgot to put up a silencing charm.” Harry muttered after a while of Draco muttering words of comfort to him, rubbing his back. “Harry it’s fine. Wait- you mean to tell me that that happens every single night?” Harry shrugged, “Yeah. I usually only get about three or four hours of sleep.” 

“You don’t go back to sleep?” Draco asked, his hand stilling on Harry’s back. “No, never can. You can though.” Draco shook his head, “That’s ridiculous. What was it about?” Harry grimaced slightly, “The war.” he answered simply, hoping Draco wouldn’t want to hear more. He really didn’t want to cry in front of him too much. Draco nodded, standing up and pulling Harry with him, “Come on, we’re going to get you to fall asleep.” he said adamantly. Harry laughed slightly, “What do you propose?” Draco laughed, hauling Harry towards his bed, feeling his ribs digging into him. He winced slightly and threw open his trunk. “The classics, from Mother. I appreciate them but I doubt  _ you  _ would.” Harry smiled, “Well I don’t know, I didn’t have much time to read. I was a little preoccupied yunno saving the world.” 

\----

Harry grinned as Draco laughed. “Well it’s never too late to appreciate the classics.” Harry shook his head, “Pretentious prat.” Draco smiled, opening the book, “Ignorant git.” Harry walked over to his bed and got under the duvet, as instructed whilst Draco flicked his wand, making a chair appear by his bed. 

Harry smiled as Draco drawled on and on, not even listening to the story, just watching Draco’s eyes skim over the page, lighting up. The shape of his lips as he spoke. The constant hum of joy Harry could feel radiating off him. He yawned, feeling almost as if he was lapsing back into sleep when the bodies flashed across his eyes. He shook his head, eyes wide and sat up again. Draco sighed, “Damn, you’re stubborn Potter.” Harry laughed shakily. Draco closed the book, levitating it back into his trunk. “Go to sleep Draco, I’m used to this.” Harry said, pushing on Draco’s leg until he reluctantly stood. “Are you sure?” 

“Yes, I’ll see you in the morning.” Draco nodded, slowly getting back into his bed, “Okay, but you’re eating more tomorrow. Okay?” Harry nodded and pulled on his jacket, heading towards the door.

  
  


**\------**

Weeks passed with the same routine. Harry would wake up and seemingly Draco would as well. He’d try to get Harry to go back to sleep but the stubborn git would never fall asleep again and would insist on him sleeping, saying he was fine. Then he’d leave and go down to god knows where. Draco still hadn’t found a way to get him to sleep and it was annoying him. It was almost half way through October and he still hadn’t solved the problem that was right in front of him. And it was driving him insane. He _ always _ solved the problems. He was the logical one. And this infuriated him more than he cared to admit. 

Drcao walked down into the common room and headed over to Harry. Not that there was anyone else he’d talk to. Except Hermione and Ron, but they were on their daily romantic walk through the grounds.”Hey,” Harry said, smiling up at Draco. “Hi, so I had an idea. On the Hogsmeade weekend we can search for something that might help your insomnia.” Harry raised an eyebrow at him, “Did you read a muggle medical book?” Draco sighed, “I was out of options!” Harry laughed, making Draco’s heart flutter. “This is really bugging you isn’t it?” Draco shook his head indignantly, “No, of course not. Don’t be absurd Potter.” 

\---- 

Harry smiled, “Obviously not  _ Malfoy. _ But no, I can’t come to Hogsmede.” Draco raised a quizzical eyebrow at him just as Hermione and Ron walked in. Harry shook his head and smiled, “Fun walk?” Ron nodded, “Yeah, want to go to quidditch pitch mate?” Harry nodded, vaguely aware that he was being lured away from Draco but not really caring. He walked off with Ron, chatting about the Harpies and the Kestrels. 

“Want to fly?” Ron asked, grabbing a broom. Harry nodded, “Of course!” He raised his hand, a broom flying towards him. “Showoff.” Ron muttered, mounting his broom as Harry laughed, soaring into the sky. They flew around for hours, it was Saturday and they could spend all day out here. “So,” Ron said, flying close to Harry, “Since when are you and Malfoy best buds?” Harry shrugged, “We spend a lot of time together.” Ron grinned, “And the Hufflepuff in you is feeling sorry for him?”  _ Well, no actually it’s the other way around.  _ “Yeah that must be it. Come on.” He said, pointing his broom up and racing through the clouds, feeling the vapour sticking to his sweat drenched robes and the thrill of riding a broom coursing through him. He hadn’t felt this good in so long. He shut his eyes in pure exhilaration and opened them, black figures swarming into focus all around him. 


	8. Chapter Eight

Draco watched as Harry left, laughing with Ron.  _ Why are you upset? You’ll always be second to him.  _ “So, I wanted to talk to you.” Hermione said, proving Draco’s theory. Draco nodded, bracing himself. “Do you like Harry?” Draco’s eyes widened, “Yeah, he’s a good friend.” He said guardedly. Hermione shook her head, “That's not what I meant and you know it.” Draco shrugged, “I don’t know.” Hermione’s eyes narrowed and she nodded slowly. “Well I think you do. But I’ve only been observing. I won’t tell him.” She added at Draco's worried expression. 

Draco nodded, “Thanks. Can I ask you something?” Hermione nodded, pulling her knees into her body on the sofa, “Of course, we’re friends, right?” Draco smiled, “Yes, of course. I asked if Harry wanted to go to the Hogsmeade weekend with me and he-” Hermione smiled slightly and cut him off, “Cancelled? Yeah, it’s halloween.” Draco nodded, not catching on. “Harry hasn’t told you?” Hermione said softly. Draco shook his head, hurt obviously clear on his features. “Don’t worry it took him a while to tell us. Halloween is when Ha-” Hermione broke off as Ginny came running towards them. “Harry - in the hospital wing.” She panted, folded over her knees. 

Draco’s heart almost stopped as he leapt up and raced towards the hospital wing, hardly registering the girls running behind him. He pushed the doors open, storming over to where Ron was standing. “What happened!?” He asked, panting slightly. Ron looked up at him, mildly shocked by his level of concern. “I don’t know, we were just flying and he suddenly had a panic attack or something and fell off his broom.” he said, his voice gravelly. Hermione ran towards him, throwing her arm around his neck. “Is he okay?” she muttered, tears threatening to spill down her face. Ron nodded, wrapping his arms around her. “Yeah, he’s just through there.” 

Hermione and Ginny ran through but Draco hung back, unsure whether to go through or not. Ron looked at him, seemingly making up his mind. “He asked for you.” Draco’s eyes lit up and he followed the girls towards Harry’s bed, Ron on his heels.

\----

Harry opened his eyes at the sound of Hermione’s sharp breathing. “Harry! What the hell did you do this time!?” She screeched, throwing her arms around him. “I just- slipped.” Ginny scoffed, “You never slip. What happened?” Harry looked over their shoulders and his eyes latched onto Draco’s. “Can I talk to Draco?” he asked quietly. Draco stepped forwards as the girls nodded, slightly perplexed. Ron gaped as the girls ushered him out of the room. 

“Hi.” He muttered, stepping towards Harry’s bed. Harry smiled weakly, “Hey, you not going to ask what happened?” Draco shook his head and sat on the foot of the bed, “You’ll tell me when you want to. I’m just going to make sure you’re okay.” Harry nodded, “I saw dementors.” Draco’s eyes widened, “What? What are dementors doing here?” Harry shook his head, “No… I imagined them.” Draco sighed, pulling Harry into a hug. “I’m sorry.” Harry rested his head on Draco’s shoulder, “Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault.” Draco sighed, “We’ll figure it out.” Harry nodded after a brief pause, “Maybe.” Draco squeezed his shoulders tighter, “We will.” 

\---------

Draco woke up and glanced over to see closed drapes. “Harry?” He waited what felt like a year before standing up and pulling them open to see an empty bed. He sighed and got dressed, walking down to the common room and heading straight to Hermione. “No, I don’t know where he is. Don’t worry Draco, it’s just a Harry thing.” Ron nodded, “It’s a halloween thing as well. Are you still coming to Hogsmeade?” Draco shook his head, “No, I have to catch up on work.” Hermione raised a dubious eyebrow but dropped the matter, “Okay, see you later.” Draco nodded, walking out of the common room, after them and heading to the library. 

As he walked down the corridor he felt his heels stinging slightly before collapsing in an undignified heap on the floor. He groaned and rolled over to be kicked in the face by a group of third years. “Death eater bastard. Shouldn’t have come back.” Draco sighed and pulled out his wand, casting a temporary blinding hex and scrambling up, racing down the corridor. He searched the whole castle, ducking into alcoves and empty corridors whenever a group of students came near. He couldn’t find Harry anywhere. 

\----

Harry woke up and walked straight out of the castle, despite the weather and the fact that it was four am. His eyes were already stinging by the time he reached the Whomping willow. He sighed, sitting opposite it and letting the tears fall. It was his first year which he could properly mourn in, without having to battle monsters or search for horcruxes. He sat on the grass, pulling out chunks with his fingers and the tears drowned him, until the sun rose. He glanced at the tree in front of him and froze it, darting in and down the tunnel. Pausing before exiting again. It just didn’t feel  _ right.  _ He wondered the grounds unsure where to go. Almost wishing he did have some mission to complete.  _ How do you mourn something you never had? Something you never knew? But something you want more than anything?  _

He sighed and glanced around before deciding that there was only one place which would feel right. He closed his eyes only to snap his head around to see a familiar head of blond hair. “Hey.” He whispered, stepping towards Harry. Harry frowned slightly. “Hi, why didn’t you go to Hogsmeade?” Draco shrugged, “I didn’t want to leave you. Did I interrupt something?” His voice was so soft, as if Harry was as fragile as a cloud. Maybe he was. “Not really.” he reached his hand out towards the slytherin, cocking his head on the side, “Come with me?” Draco nodded, taking his hand without a second thought. 

Harry closed his eyes, the cobbled streets and church swirling in his mind. He felt the churn in his stomach which never really went away no matter how often he apparated and opened his eyes, already gleaming with tears. He turned and collapsed straight into Draco’s outstretched arms. “Harry, this is where you were born?” Draco asked softly. Harry nodded, “This is where he- he” He didn’t have to finish, Draco already knew. “Oh…” He said, realisation dawning on him, “I’m so sorry Harry.” Harry buried his head deeper into the crook of Draco’s neck, his tears dampening the expensive fabric. “I don’t even know how to - to mourn them.” He whimpered against the soft silk. Draco ran his hand over Harry’s back, “Do you want to go to the house?” Harry nodded and pulled back, grabbing Draco’s hand and refusing to let go as they walked towards the battered, old building. 


	9. Chapter Nine

Draco inhaled sharply as they approached, Harry’s hand tightening around his. They walked in silence through the rubble. Harry had tears constantly streaming down his face and was clutching to Draco like he was the only thing keeping him upright. Draco squeezed his hand and continued walking, pulling the shorter boy along. He stopped when something in the rubble caught his eye. He leant down and uncovered a locket. Harry’s eyes were glimmering with tears when he took the chain off Draco with shaking hands. 

Draco watched as Harry opened it, the tears stopping their course. Harry smiled slightly and sat down in the rubble, staring at the necklace he was holding. Draco sighed and sat down on the rubble cursing the fact that this was his nice cloak and now it was ruined. But when he looked over at Harry’s trembling frame, he resigned himself to not caring, wrapping an arm around him and glancing at the locket. It was a simplistic gold chain with a small golden heart with a clasp on the side. Harry flicked it open so Draco could see it as well. Inside was a locket of dark brown, almost black hair and two pictures. Draco smiled slightly at the picture of baby Harry on a  _ stag?! _ The other picture was a wedding photo by the looks of it. It was too small to identify properly but Draco saw the red hair and knew it was Lily. 

\----

“Thank you.” Harry whispered, as the afternoon sun thawed the ice surrounding his heart. Draco smiled at him, the sun bouncing off his blonde hair and softening his sharp features. Making him look perfect. Draco leaned forwards, their breaths mingling. Harry inhaled sharply, his heart hammering in his chest as Draco leant in pressing his lips to Harry’s in an act of pure desperation. Harry barely had time to react before Draco pulled back, seemingly humiliated, and apparated leaving Harry alone on the rubble in Godric’s hollow. 

Harry scrambled up apparating straight back to Hogwarts, catching sight of the blonde hair, fleeing down the path. Harry raced after him, ramming into him and pushing him against the wall. Draco gasped as their lips collided again. Harry’s hands pressed Draco up against the wall as slender fingers played in his messy hair. Harry pulled back for breath before crashing back into Draco, all the anger and pain leaving him in a passionate spiral of tongues. 

\-----

Draco gasped as his back hit the cold stone of the castle. He braced himself for a beating but what he received was so so much better. He looped his fingers through each chaotic tangle of hair on Harry’s head, pulling back only to be pulled right back in, barely able to breathe in the ecstasy of the moment. Harry pulled back, resting his forehead on Draco’s, his breathing heavy. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that.” Draco muttered, his fingers still teasing the black curls atop of the shorter boy’s head. Harry smiled, “What took you so long?” Draco chuckled, pressing his lips to Harry’s forehead. 

  
\----

Draco looked up when Hermione and Ron walked in. Ron’s mouth fell open at the sight of Harry and Draco cuddling on the common room sofa. Hermione just smiled knowingly, pulling Ron forwards when his legs refused to work. “Hello,” she said, plonking herself down next to them. Harry grinned, “Hey ‘Mione.” Hermione chuckled, catching Draco’s eye, “May I just say, I told you so.” Draco laughed, kissing Harry’s forehead, making Ron squirm uncomfortably. “Yes yes. Right again. Whatever.” Hermione laughed, nudging Ron. Ron glanced up and smiled. “Don’t hurt him.” He growled, accepting it as soon as he saw Harry’s smile. Draco nodded and tightened his grip on Harry. “I won’t.” 

Harry smiled making Draco’s heart flutter, again. Hermione grinned, pulling Ron down to sit next to her. “Well I’m glad you too have finally stopped being idiots.” She hummed.”They’ll never stop being idiots, ‘Mione.” Ron said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. Harry rolled his eyes at them and nuzzled his head into Draco’s neck. Hermione and Ron smiled, walking away after realising that the new couple wanted to talk alone. Draco smiled and nodded gratefully at Hermione. She flashed him a cheesy wink before following Ron out of the door.

\----

Draco grinned down at Harry, “I had an idea.” He whispered, Harry raised an eyebrow at him.. “I’m intrigued.” Draco laughed, “The other night, on the stairs.” He started, pausing to kiss Harry’s forehead lightly, “You fell asleep and didn’t wake up.” Harry’s eyes widened, “I suppose I didn’t. So what are you suggesting?” Draco laughed, a small blush tinting his cheeks. “We could see if you’d sleep better in the same bed?” Harry’s heart fluttered uncontrollably at the suggestion and he nodded almost instantly, blushing at Drcao’s chuckle. “Yeah.. we can try it.” He said trying to play it off casually. (And failing.) 

Harry walked up to the dorm room, following Drcao’s long strides.  _ Honestly, he’d have to learn to walk slower.  _ Draco flicked his wand, causing the lights to flicker on. Harry smiled, concentrating on the new source of light until it blinked out. “Show off.” Draco muttered, stalking into the bathroom as Harry turned the lights on again, with the slight movement of his finger. 

\----

Honestly, Draco  _ loved  _ it when Harry did wordless, let alone wandless magic. But he wasn’t going to admit that anytime soon. Not when his git of a boyfriend would mock him for it, for weeks on end.  _ To be fair, he’ll probably do that some other way anyway.  _ Draco splashed his face with water and changed into his joggers and silk shirt, walking back in as Harry was pulling on a fresh shirt. His eyes widened at the ragged scar tissue running in slashes down his tanned skin. “Harry…” he breathed, walking over and tugging at the hem of Harry’s shirt. Harry looked down bashfully and shrugged Draco off. “Who did that to you!?” Draco asked, anger lancing through his voice. 

Harry sighed and reluctantly let Draco raise his shirt up. Draco gasped and anger raced through him. “Who did that!?” He said through gritted teeth. Harry shuddered. “It’s fine Draco.” Draco shook his head, pulling the smaller boy into a tight embrace, almost suffocating him. “Who?” He asked, his voice softer. Harry shivered slightly. “You can’t tell anyone.” Draco nodded numbly.  _ Just another bloody thing Harry has been enduring alone. The self sacrificing git. Why does he think no one cares!?  _


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning - Mention of child abuse. If you don't want to read it, skip this chapter. It won't affect the story, and I will explain it at the bottom as well. :)

_ “Wake up, boy.” Vernon shouted, banging on the cupboard door and grabbing Harry by the arm, tearing open the fresh cuts and wrenching his arm out of its socket. Harry cried out in pain and stumbled forwards, towards the kitchen, green eyes shimmering with fear of what he knew was coming. He wobbled towards the fridge, opening it and pulling out one of the many packs of bacon and eggs. Standing on the tips of his toes, he poured oil into a pan, almost missing completely. Gulping, he wiped it away before anyone noticed. He cracked the eggs into the pan and the bacon swiftly followed. This was all routine now.  _

_ The fear. Being tugged out of his small sanctuary which was hardly a sanctuary at all. It was like hell in there. Too cramped, so he constantly had bruises running all over his already scarred body. Dusty, because no one would ever think to clean his room. He was worthless. Just a burden on a perfect family. And so so dark. But still, it was so much better than being with them. Better than slaving away in the kitchen. Better than kneeling on the gravel, having his body sliced open constantly as his so-called Uncle muttered slurs and insults at him. As his aunt grinned at his torment. As his cousin laughed at his pain.  _

_ But it was all Harry knew. And part of him thought he deserved it.  _

_ He put the bread in the toaster and ran back to the pans, flipping the bacon and making sure they didn’t burn. But before he knew it, smoke was filling the small kitchen and someone was howling in disgust at the ‘mess. You worthless little-’ Harry squeezed his eyes shut as he was dragged out through the doors. As he was thrown onto the gravel, already stained with his blood.  _

_ He braced himself for the first strike and pain shot through him. He whimpered, earning him another whipping. Sobbing, he fell to the ground, the lashes hammering down on his back as he yelled out in pure agony. As his skin was torn to shreds, along with his life. He lay there crying out as the belt sliced open his skin until he blacked out.  _

_ He slowly blinked and scrambled up, tears streaming down his face. Swaying on his feet, he made his way back to the cupboard, curling up on the bumpy, bloodstained mattress and letting the sobs demolish the remainder of his childhood.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Harry explains to Draco that the Dursleys used to abuse him.*


	11. Chapter Eleven

Draco shook with anger as Harry finished his story. “No child should have to go through that!” Harry was still tremouring slightly in his arms and tears were swelling up in his eyes, threatening to spill down his face. “Where the hell do they live? I’m going to  _ kill  _ them.” Harry shook his head, “Draco no!” Draco sighed, “Harry they tortured you!” Harry nodded, turning to face him, “And I hate them for it, but no one deserves-” Draco shook his head, “Harry they scarred you! They destroyed your childhoo-”

“I know!” Harry shouted, jumping up, “You don’t think I know that!? Draco I know! A lot of things fucked up my childhood. A lot of things fucked up yours. You don’t see me hunting down your bloody father do you?” Draco flinched slightly, and Harry softened his voice, “Draco I don’t want you to waste your time on them. Nothing will change what happened. And if you hurt them then I’ll lose you too-” Draco stood up and wrapped his arms around him, “You won’t lose me, never.” Harry sighed, sagging against him. 

\-----

“Potter! Get off me, we’re late!” Harry stretched leisurely, “Morning to you too.” Draco growled slightly, shoving Harry’s shoulder tenderly, “Harry. Get. Up. Now.” Harry sighed, shaking his head and nuzzling his head closer to Draco. Draco sighed, resisting the urge to close his eyes and sleep. “Harry please, we’re really late.” Harry grinned up at him impishly, cracking open one eye and peering at him, “So what's five more minutes?” Draco groaned, “Harry-” 

He was cut off by a soft kiss against his neck. He inhaled sharply, making Harry smile smugly against his pale skin. “Just five more minutes.” He muttered, causing Harry to kiss his earlobe gently before sinking back into the pillows, his arm wrapping around his side, trapping him there.  _ Sly git.  _ He closed his eyes for what he swore was only five seconds before being jolted awake by their door swinging open.

"Harry!” Hermione screeched, “Do you know how late you are? And why the hell are you two sleeping in the same bed? You’ve only been dating for less than twenty-four hours. Harry. Answer my question!” Draco chuckled slightly as Harry groaned, “Hermione I swear if you give me  _ the talk  _ I will jump out of the window.” Hermione cocked an eyebrow at them, deciding on the safer of the two topics, “You’re late.”

Harry grinned, perching on his elbows, “Missing me?” Hermione sighed, “Harry, you have to start taking school more seriously. You don’t have any excuses this ye-” Draco cut her off, receiving a fierce glare, “He’s Harry fucking Potter, he’ll get any job he applies for whether he has a hundred NEWTs or zero.” Hermione glared at them before turning on her heel and walking out, “If anyone asks, you’re sick.” She called over her shoulder before vanishing down the stairs. 

\----

“So we have the whole day to ourselves,” Harry said, kissing Draco’s temple before standing up. Draco smiled, “Yes, a whole day to study.” Harry rolled his eyes, “Go ahead,” He walked into the bathroom, splashing water onto his face and foregoing his glamours since Hermione hadn’t noticed.  _ And she notices everything. _ He smiled and walked out as Draco was pulling a jumper -  _ wait a minute that’s my jumper -  _ over his head. 

Harry chuckled and walked forwards, grabbing his jeans and an old shirt and tugging them on whilst Draco was still struggling with the jumper. “You put your arms thro-” Harry started after he was dressed. “I know how to do it Potter!” Draco said indignantly, pulling on the hem and managing to get his head through the top. 

“You look so cute!” Harry said, leaning up to leave a light kiss on Draco’s nose. Draco smiled, “Malfoys are not  _ cute. _ ” Harry kissed his nose again, “Adorable.” Draco rolled his eyes affectionately, “I’m almost six inches taller than you.” Harry pouted slightly, pressing his lips harder against Draco’s nose, “So sweet.” Draco laughed, “Harry I was a death eater oh my god.” Harry narrowed his eyes, planting a firm kiss on Draco’s nose and then his lips. “A fucking adorable one.” 

\----

Draco smiled at the stubborn look in Harry’s eyes and kissed him gently, letting him win this one. They’d have plenty of time to go over this. And right now, after he’d just woken up, Harry looked so cute, his hair tousled, the bags under his eyes barely visible. “Do you have your glamours on?” Draco muttered softly. Harry shook his head grinning. Draco smiled,  _ Okay, so I can still feel his ribs through his shirt, but he looks better, happier.  _ He leant down, pressing his lips to Harry’s for a second before pulling back. “We should eat something.” Harry rolled his eyes at him, “You mean I should eat something, don’t you?” Draco nodded, threading his fingers through Harry’s. 

Draco smiled as Harry made two plates full of food appear in front of them. He watched as Harry picked up a piece of bread and took the smallest bite known to man. “Merlin Harry! Take bigger bites.” Draco said, breaking off a decent sized piece and passing it to him. Harry stared at it briefly before popping in his mouth and swallowing it. “Are you going to baby me till I eat all the food?” Harry asked, watching as Draco ignored his own food, focused on Harry instead. “Yes. Now eat.” Draco smiled as Harry picked up a piece of fruit and grinned. 

Soon the whole plate of food was gone and Draco finally started on his own, having to stop himself from batting Harry’s hand away when he pinched food off his plate.  _ He’s eating more. Let him take that little piece of pineapple and leave your sorry puppy eyes at home.  _ He scolded himself, the voice becoming less and less like Voldemort’s every passing day. 


	12. Chapter Twelve

Within a few weeks of tough lo-like from Draco, Harry was almost back to a healthy weight. He wore his glamours less and less, only using them when he was going to be doing something particularly draining. By the end of November, Harry had foregone the glamours entirely, of course he wasn’t looking perfect but if anyone noticed a change, they didn’t bring it up. As he felt healthier he could see that Draco became happier, that was his main motivation. Before, no one could see his pain and he wasn’t hurting anyone but himself. But knowing that Draco was worried about him, made him push himself to get better. 

Most days he would spend two meals a day with most of the eighth years and the other would be reserved for the Trio - which was now more of a quartet. Or meals alone with Draco in their room. Stolen kisses in the corridors before lessons and muttered conversations no one tried to understand. Only a few weeks into their relationship, and they were already showing the other couple up. Of course, he still had his off days, days where he wouldn’t talk to Draco, let alone anyone else, where he wouldn’t eat and would hardly leave his bed, despite not sleeping for more than an hour at a time and being woken up sweating and screaming. And this day was one of the latter. 

\----

Draco had to hold back the tears as Harry woke up and scrambled away from Draco, clambering into his own bed and closing the drapes. He hated Harry’s off days. He hated losing his boyfriend, his best friend for the day, feeling like he was abandoning him if he left and crowding him if he stayed. There was no way to know when those dark clouds would settle over the seemingly clear sky. Harry could have a perfect day, laughing and chatting like he was in first year all over again and then the next day he would be gone. 

Draco sighed and sat up, pulling out some parchment and resolving to write to Pansy. 

_ Dear Pansy,  _

_ I apologise for not writing sooner, but as usual, you are correct. I did have the biggest crush on Potter. Though you were wrong about one thing, because The  Saviour  is my boyfriend. (Do not tell Harry I called him ‘The Saviour’ he’ll kill me)  _

_ However I do have a dilemma, and you have to promise not to tell a soul. He’s not okay. The war changed him and well, he is no longer the perfect boy he once was. - I mean he is perfect but his life isn’t. He is.-  He’s getting better but he has these days where no one can reach him and I’m always terrified that I’ll lose him forever.  _

_ I hate uncertainty and the hardest part of it all is that  Harry feels guilty about it. When it wasn’t even his fucking fault. He didn’t start the war. He didn’t join the wrong side. He didn't cower away in fear. He has been braver than all of them, no matter how much people argue that Hermione and Ron were just as brave, they weren’t. Yes, they were bloody brilliant - Oh god, I'm starting to sound like Weasley -  but Harry had faced many of those creatures alone. And then he faced everyone’s biggest fear, whether they deny it or not, death. All for the good of a community he hardly knew. At the word of a man who raised him for slaughter.  _

_ So I suppose I have two problems. I don’t know how to help him, and I don’t deserve him. At all.  _

_ Love Draco  _

_ Ps: Hope your fashion business is picking up, miss you!  _

\----

Harry woke up to the incessant tapping of an owl pecking at their window. He groaned and got up, vaguely aware that he hadn’t spoken to anyone yesterday. He took the letter, receiving a peck and a bite from the owl before it swooped into the room, perching on the bedpost. “Draco,” His voice was gravelly as he spoke but Draco still heard him. “Harry? Are you okay darling?” Harry nodded, passing him the letter. Draco immediately recognised the owl and smiled slightly. 

\----

_Dear Draco,_

_First of all, I am very happy to hear that my friend can stop pining over the chosen one. I’m glad you two managed to resolve the sexual tension between each other. It was frankly getting annoying. I’m afraid I don’t know what to suggest. But remember that you turned your back on him. You chose the right side too. You were just a little later. And if he’s chosen to be with you then I doubt it's a joke. You’re too much of a nightmare for that to be the reason. And the stubborn git is probably going to stay with you annoying us all for a long long time, because really, are you all oblivious? You guys literally stalked each other for seven years. Believe me, this relationship will haunt us all for a very long time._

_When it comes to his mental health I am not surprised in the slightest, we all have our issues after the war, but Harry doesn’t just have his own grief and guilt resting on his shoulders, but that of the whole wizarding community. Try to remember that, and when he pulls away just make it clear you’re still there for him, leave him a note or a piece of bread. Those little gestures might help lessen the bad days eventually. And yes, I asked for advice from friends but I did not mention your names._

_I wish you guys a good time at Hogwarts, write more often you lazy prat. And I expect a wedding invitation as soon as you’re engaged. And expect two designer suits made for free by yours truly because guess whos fashion career took off!? Mine!_

_Love Pansy_

_Ps: tell Potter that if he hurts you then I’ll rip his heart out and feed his body to wolves, I don’t care if he is the ‘Saviour’._

Draco grinned, “Pansy says hi.” 


End file.
